Chapter 5 -List of Men whose Hearts I've Broken

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=133 BGCOLOR="#006699" TEXT="#080000" background="0c3085a3.jpg"> <bR> <div> <B>Jamaica~Noamie's Negril.Com</B><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#FF66FF" FACE="Arial Narrow" ><I><B>               </B></I></FONT><FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#FF66FF" FACE="Desdemona" ><B>            </B></FONT><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#6666CC" FACE="Eurostile" ><B><IMG SRC="2fe58010.gif" border=0 width="600" height="1" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> <B>West Cliffe</B></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=210 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" background="0c4d2e83.jpg"> <div> Jamaica~Noamie's Negril.Com</div> <div>     <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#CCCCE4" FACE="Eurostile" ><A HREF="id48.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="My BookWest Cliffe"><U>Home</U></A></FONT></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>-----</B><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Elephant" ><B>---</B></FONT><B>---</B><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#FF00FF" FACE="Elephant" ><B>---</B></FONT><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#FFFF00" FACE="Elephant" ><B>---</B></FONT><B>---</B><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Elephant" ><B>---</B></FONT><B>------</B><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#DDDDDD" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Travelling  & Tourism </B><A HREF="id66.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="BarBBarn Negril Cooking it up with Norm"><U><B>World</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <B>-----</B><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Elephant" ><B>---</B></FONT><B>---</B><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#FF00FF" FACE="Elephant" ><B>---</B></FONT><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#FFFF00" FACE="Elephant" ><B>---</B></FONT><B>---</B><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Elephant" ><B>---</B></FONT><B>------</B><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#DDDDDD" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id57.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Memories"><U><B>Memories</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <B>Who is </B><A HREF="id2.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Who is Noamie?"><U><B>Noamie?</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <B>West Cliffe:</B></div> <div> <B> The Road That Got Us </B><A HREF="id20.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Chapter 2 1990: It Was April It Was East"><U><B>Here</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id74.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Frog That Would Not Let Me Forget"><U><B>A Frog That Would Not Let me Forget</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id3.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Along The Way My Path"><U><B>Along the Way-My Path</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id16.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Man Who Had Sets Out to Ruining My M"><U><B>The man who had sets out to Ruin-ing my Military Career</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <B>West Cliffe:</B></div> <div> <B> The Road That Got Us </B><A HREF="id20.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Chapter 2 1990: It Was April It Was East"><U><B>Here</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <B> </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Jamaica Noamies Negril.Com "><U><B>Country Road</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id4.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="West Cliffe The Place I Called Home"><U><B>Cross Road</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <B>  </B></div> <div> <A HREF="id29.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Negrils Chronicle"><U><B>Negril's Chronicle</B></U></A></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" height=347 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <I>Chapter  5 -List of Men whose Hearts I've Broken</I></div> <div> <B>West Cliffe- Chapter 5</B></div> <div> <B>List of Men whose Hearts I've Broken ~</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#6666CC" FACE="Baskerville Old Face" ><B>32</B></FONT><B>      </B></div> <div> <B>      </B><B>                                                              </B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Chapter Five  </B></div> <div> <B><IMG SRC="0f9785a0.jpg" border=0 width="120" height="90" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>The Queen of Hearts </B></div> <div> <B>How many hearts have I stolen</B><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#6666FF" FACE="Baskerville Old Face" ><B>?</B></FONT><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#6666FF" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>The Queen of Hearts. There's no King of Diamond: </B></div> <div> <B>I have to be crazy to be doing this. However, for those who wanted to know, I have to put it here for them to read. Many have been warned, to be careful. When told, they look only to the surface to see the beauty of me. They don't understand. They never will. Some, understand only when it is too late. Why am I called Dangerous? Is it my smile? Is it the way I walk? That damn walk, that would make any man forget himself? Or is it the simple ness of the natural me? I laugh! </B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>Unparalleled Life's </B></div> <div> <B>Yes, some say I look somewhat like my mother. However I hold the strong resemblance of my father. My laughter is that of my father. My father's laughter lives in me. I hold the beauty of my grandmother, Dearest Emma. The hair the high cheekbone, the shapely legs, etc, etc. [I took some looks from my Irish-English Grandmother Jessie Senior, along with her sailor-man swear-words, however, that's for another chapter.] I trace my mother and my grandmother Emma's past, just so that I don't walk in their footsteps. Why? Because I wanted to know. There was a driving force in me to know. Thus I knew, how, was to drive my mother crazy, even without trying. Her own selfishness was the catalyst. Her own demons did the work. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I learn to detest women who married men they do not love. I detest women who for 'security of' financial gains' will marry men that they know in their heart, that they do not love. Thus, while the men had gone off to work, they will become the harlot. Thus, I loathed my mother. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Having looked beyond her beauty, to see who she really is. She was the person who had forced me into tracing her past, who she is and why. From her life, I learned many things. That men who are obsessed with a woman beauty will become blinded, without a doubt, will give to her all the worldly things that money can buy, and yet the harlots are never satisfy. From her life, I learn all I needed to know about the trifling, conniving, devious ways of women. Ways that I would come out and speak boldly against, for all the good, for all decent women. And so, it was from her, the woman called my mother, that I patterned my own life of 'not doing' and 'not knowing' and in it I learnt to not love as I should, any man, least he should become obsessed with my beauty and desire to become blind, thus forcing me into my mother's footstep. </B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>West Cliffe</B></div> <div> <B>List of Men whose Hearts I've Broken :~ 33 </B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#6666CC" FACE="Eurostile" ><B>                                                                        </B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="0fabb7a0.jpg" border=0 width="187" height="122" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <B>List of Men whose Heart I Broke</B><B> </B></div> <div> <B>Start counting. </B></div> <div> <B>Stop counting.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>1990: </B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#6666CC" FACE="Eurostile" ><B>It's March! It's Derris Wedding Day. I was happy for him. Actually, I was in Jamaica, and so when the wedding was announced, it was that I should be there. Georgia, his bride-to-be gave me a personal invitation. </B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> <B>Because I was not yet used to living [back in the Jamaican heat] that is (getting adjusted to the Jamaica humidity), I opted to not going all the way to Sav-la-mar where the church is. Instead, I took my sweet time, to bathe and dress. Of course, all eyes will be on me this evening at the reception. For whatever reasons`; oh how I longed to relieved myself of the load, of everyone attention. I guess my little town always has its own sets of paparazzi. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>My Uncle Tal picked me up from the yard as I was waiting for a ride. I agreed to be there, however, I had turned down all the potential escorts. Too much headache! That way, I don't belong to anyone. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>No sooner I got there, Dr. M' came with his wife. He stopped at me feet, gave me a big hug and a kiss on my cheer. His wife, having walked on to go and relieved herself of the present she carries. With respect, she knew who I am. The woman who said no to marrying this doctor years ago. Yet, she too marry this man, knowing what he told her, in that his heart was with another woman. </B></div> <div> <B>Thus, I have looked at the world and without hesitating, know just why this world is as crazy as it is. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Derris was as happy as happy could be. I having heard how he cried at the church as his beloved wife sang to him, there at the alter. Faith, fate, and faithless. Suddenly the best man and 'himself' came over to join me standing. We all laugh at something that words would not describe here, this moment, this time. However when Derris spoke, I was shock. Amazed, I asked God, if I am indeed crazy afterall. I smile. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Later, that night as I was standing by my other uncle and aunt, Derris came and put something to my head to drink. In the cup was nothing more than a few cubes of ice. Though, it was the words that he uttered, with trying to choke (gag) me that say what was inside of him. Somehow, I knew without a doubt that his marriage would have become a failure.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I kept those words to myself, for to have utter those words, on this his special big day was to have speak the failure into existence. The Queen had long since stole his heart. Thus, he had none to give. He was empty. He had no soul. It gone! </B></div> <div> <B>Nevertheless, he tried.</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>West Cliffe           Chapter Five</B></div> <div> <B>List of Men whose Hearts I've Broken:~34                                                                          </B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>There at the wedding reception was too many men, who came wanting my attention. Ricky, my obsessor, called me over to come and sit by him. He having arrived with his girl. So, I told him to do the right thing, as I see it. First, I didn't come with him there. Second, he brought her, and having put myself in her place, I refuse to honor his words. </B></div> <div> <B>Then there came Jimmy Jackson, Ricky's father. At least he had enough sense was to come alone. Well, his motive was all planned. He alone seems to know me "a little" in that I would have arrived alone. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Now, there's something that I cannot say here, otherwise, I will be 'dead-meat' and I am tired of running for my life, so I will keep that for now, 'say private'. I learn to lie a little bit for my own cause. However, having read the list of others "the best" I often chuckled at mine. Jimmy admit that he knew that I would have arrived alone. Sensitive Noamie, who wishes to offend no one. Not that it ever did me any good, for all the goodness in me!</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Drunk as a skunk, Jimmy came to tell me that I broke his heart. And look where he came to tell me that news? At Derris Wedding reception! That drunken fool! Steal some sex [we can call it rape for a moment] from me, and that 'stealing-love' will make you a fool for life, and a miserable worthless fool too. The dangerous Woman don't even have to try at breaking men's heart. Their own ego did them in. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The worst torture that any woman can be made to endure is to go through life knowing that the man they are with do not love them, instead, his heart is and will always belong with another woman. </B></div> <div> <B>I think I will make a list of the men that should carry my body to the cemetery. I will make a list of all the hearts that I had eaten-up and hopefully, upon my death, they will (may) gain back their soul from the claws of the what had taken them down, that which came upon them.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>My Lord, while all eyes were on me as that is the story of my life, I am always on my best P.R. (etiquette and good manners). Also knowing that the gossips and headline news will be all about me. Often when I ask, what is it about me? I cannot get a valid answer. Before you assume that I am been egotistic here, I will tell you that I have asked or presented this question to some of the most honest individuals that I have come to know through my life and over many years. Telling me the honest truth, is them! </B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>Note:</B><B> </B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#6666CC" FACE="Eurostile" ><B>If I err in not mentioning any of my lovers, feel free to drop me a line and I will be more than happy to include you. After all, you too deserve recognition for your effort in trying to win my heart. Also, note that I will elect to write the letter 'I' in common dimension, as I see fit. It's as often "I". </B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> <B>West Cliffe  </B></div> <div> <B>Chapter Five </B></div> <div> <B>Coming out of the Darkness :  ~35</B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>Coming Out of the Darkness</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#6666FF" FACE="Eurostile" ><B>: </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>I never thought that I would ever agree to say the words; "I do," ever. I never thought that I would ever overcome trusting anyone to want to say those words. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Just two weeks ago, I thought about writing my true feelings on the matter. Perhaps, I am not the only woman to have wept bitterly on my wedding night. Perhaps, I will never be the last either. I woke up twice May 13, 2005, wanting to sit down at my computer and write. I began writing, "Out of the Light, into Darkness" as my first steps. For the first time, June 13 2005, I would find it in myself to tell my husband the real truth, my true secrets. That at age eighteen, I was rape by someone I had trusted: Jimmy Jackson. Wherein lie secrets, lies and deceit, come threat, more lies, sex, murder and deceit. I must begin by telling and exposing the truth. The truth as to why one of his young girlfriend, Mervelyn from Montego Bay, went into hiding for three years, back in 1979-80. If only the Negril and Sav-la-mar detectives would dig deeper. Mervelyn and I had opened The Negril Tree House for Jimmy. Together, Mervelyn would laboured side by side that night, knowing in some form or another that we are connected, yet not together.    </B></div> <bR> <div> <B> What had truly angered me, is that Jimmy Jackson is and has been willing to destroy me, solely for the purpose of his own selfishness and greed. That he is so full of resentment and hate that he would foster `his people' to built strive between his son Ricky and me, for the sole purpose of harming his son; just so that in the end, he would control Ricky's wealth. That evil conniving snake of a person who is not worthy to have been called a human being. In the end, as he did back in 1990 at Derrick's wedding, seek me out, "just to tell me, how much he loves both of us" even while sticking the knife deeper in both of us back. </B></div> <div> <B>********</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>How it all started:</B><B> </B></div> <div> <B>I return to Negril in 1989, for a New Year's visit. Afterall, I was about to start a new job, as a Credit Analyst, a job that was about to pay me a top double figured-salary. I was looking for a resort to stay, and believe it or not, Steve recommended The Gold Nugget Hotel. I went to get a room there. They were all booked, and would have allowed only `three-night stay' at the time. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I did not see Ricky sitting at a desk as the receptionist told me that "a two-night-stay" wouldn't be available. Then, I asked if Ricky was available, hoping for the first time to use my status, in gaining approval for a two-night stay. The truth is; Ricky himself did not even recognize me. I have grown and mature into a different person from the little Noamie that he knew. He too had change. The Ricky Jackson, I knew had `Dreadlocks.' Well, both of us got our surprises. We gave each other big hugs, and I would receive a complimentary room for two nights. </B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>West Cliffe</B></div> <div> <B>Chapter Five</B></div> <div> <B>Coming out of the Darkness : ~36  </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I did have to agree to go out on a date with him. Little did I know, and would come to know, that Ricky had been planning a day and a date with me, for many years prior. Later, Ricky began telling me from the time he recall falling in love with me, how his inspiration and ambition was to make money. Just so that he would be able to afford "one of Mr. Bremmer's Daughter." Truly, I was baffled, and somehow, pieces of my life, tragedy that has taken place in and around me, began to make sense. I was not entrusted, ad it showed.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The New Year's Eve night, we had a date to go up to Compulsion at the Disco. However, upon leaving the resort property, Ricky took a turn to go and visit Negril Tree House. He wanted to go and see his father. He wanted to tell his father that he had finally found the perfect woman, the woman of his dreams. Ricky and I arrived at Negril Tree house. Jimmy was sitting at the bar, and we joined him there. There he sat rambling off about wanting `our approval,' for him to date Lollie Salmon, as she was a girl that he adore and one who would be there for him, instead of his adulterous American wife: Gail. Ricky was surprise that that was the theme of his father's conversation, yet, like myself he hid his true feeling.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>As we departed Negril Treehouse, with Jimmy Blessing, for us to go and enjoy ourselves, I became uncomfortable. I wanted to tell Ricky the truth, but finds that "it would have been cruel of me to do that to him that night." Afterall, the guy was just so happy. I felt that my return to the United States a day later would give me enough time to write to him and explain reasons that I could not accept his proposal for even a relationship. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I returned to the United States, and sat down to talk to a friend. The friend told me, `not to mention the rape by Ricky's father ten years prior.' Not because it isn't the right thing to do, but because, his father would never, perhaps, want his son hurt by knowing. Furthermore, years had pass, and that I would be holding a grudge against Ricky for no reason. She said, "Norma, Give the poor guy a chance. Don't be so hard on men. Perhaps, this is the true man for you." Those words did hit a cord in me, as Ricky had said the same words and more, calling it </B><B>"Destiny."</B><B> </B></div> <div> <B>Yet, if only we were to know, or knew that that was exactly what Jimmy Jackson had planned to do, in hurting me, for revenge and hurting Ricky for the sake of selfishness and jealousy. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Later, Jimmy would craftily turn the situation around, by laying up at the Negril Tree House, crying and refusing to eat. His daughter sat at his bedside, trying to console a supposingly heartbroken grieve-stricken father, of whom `I was told was in his room, refusing to eat or drink for days, weeping bitterly that I he was in love with me, as far back as 1989, how much I have broken his heart, and had now gone and taken up to having an affair with his son." Thus the sister and daughter came to beg Ricky to sever any ties with me for the sake of the `sick heart-broken daddy.' Only Jimmy did not tell his daughter about the rape and the reason that he couldn't live with himself, knowing that I despised him. Knowing that he never showed any remorse about the two times he raped me. The second time, he had the security guard set it and with the help of the two-office clerk at the time: Dawnie and Sandra Blackwood.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>West Cliffe </B></div> <div> <B>Chapter Five</B></div> <div> <B>Coming out of the Darkness : ~37 </B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>Ricky had seen my refusal to date him as, a sense of scorn, and  "myself thinking that my class status held me above him." Ricky expresses his feeling. While I would attempted to tell me, that it wasn't that `I think that I am better than him', and wanted him to understood, he refuses to accept my soft way of saying no to a love affairs with him. Ricky locked both of us in his room, via a combination lock, and would not allow me to leave. His face fell, as I became fearful; I told him the truth. The shock sent him into a state of shock. He took ill. The same night at Derrick Wedding Reception that Jimmy came to tell me that he was hurt about my rejection of him, was the same night that he would begged me to not leave Ricky as it was destroying Ricky. What a hypocrite! Talk about a selfish conniving hypocrite, who will do anything to satisfy his ego.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Jimmy's mother, Aunt Burzella would later learned of the rape, told to her by another son: Lyton. While we kept it a secret, as my father would have butchered him back them, Aunt Burzella couldn't find it in her heart to forgive Jimmy, even as she was dying. </B></div> <div> <B>----------------------------------------- </B></div> <div> <B>This road to sex, lies, and deceit would later leads to the death of two women: One is Lollie Salmon. </B></div> <div> <B>********</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>In 1990, Jimmy would have me to believe that Ricky was after my life, angry that I had snubbed him. Instead, it was Jimmy Jackson himself, all along, setting up means for my death, and at every corner. He knew that Ricky would be forced to take the blame for my death. Thus, the conniving bastard, with the help of his trifling wife, would inherit Ricky's legacy. After all, it is old daddy who often encourage the distress son, not to marry any woman, even as the dog would sit back and have blame placed on me for his son's disappointment in women.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Who's to say that Jimmy isn't the one behind the death of Lollie as he had carefully planned mine back in 1990? Who's to say that he didn't planned it well, and perhaps with the help of his wife. Back in 1999, when his wife had began attacking me on the Internet, when all my efforts to get Jimmy to have his wife stop the attacks failed, it was the same Jimmy who turn around, and threatened, "publicly threatened" to have my son kidnapped and killed by gunmen. Certain comment that his wife made, led me to believe that he Jimmy did tell her those lies about me, out of pure revenge and spite, things that wasn't true. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I have listened to Jimmy saying those same words about Ruth, in that he had taken her from living under house bottom with dogs," and so I knew when I read those words, posted about me by his wife, I knew they came from Jimmy's own mouth, and that Gail was merely repeating what Jimmy had said. The people on the Internet in his wife groupies of friends believe it about me; yet there are others who would learn that it's not true. For Jimmy to have slandered me the way he did speaks volume, deep hatred. </B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>West Cliffe</B></div> <div> <B>Chapter Five </B></div> <div> <B>Coming out of the Darkness : ~38 </B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>The hatred in Jimmy would manifest itself the first time he saw my son. I was forced to say to him, "You have had all those sons, and yet you are jealous that I have one," as I walked away. </B></div> <div> <B>Did Jimmy staged his disappointment and shock on the death of Lollie or was that one of his famous act? I will gladly say yes, as he is "one of the world's best actor." I have seen him in action. I have experienced him in action. After all, he had managed to trick me twice.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I am led to believe that Lollie had outgrown him, that she had become self sufficient, and had become a woman in her own rights. That Lollie was about to move on with her life, perhaps find someone and start a family. I believe that she may have shared her thoughts with Jimmy, who did not want her to have a child. Thus, I believe that it was Jimmy himself who would create the elaborate scheme to have Lollie burnt to death. So carefully planned, that he would make sure that Gail was far from the scene, should anyone suspect the plan, and lay blame on his partner in crime. After all, she had a lot to gain. I had escape Jimmy's death traps; Lollie wasn't so lucky.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I didn't have anything in common with the thirteen year old girls, that he took year after year from the time I came to know him back in 1978. It is a joke amongst the community as year after year this man would take thirteen-year-old, used them and then discard them like dirty rags. It's a shame that the young and the old in the various communities took his antics for a joke, while he gloat and show his arrogance. </B><B>This is why, that while the evidence was right under the police nose, they could not see it. </B></div> <div> <B>********</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Perhaps, I should take some blame for the death of Lollie as I had kept my mouth shut for decades, merely out of fear. It was OK for me to say that it wasn't anyone's business. Now, I want to be free. Free to love and to be me. My silence has caused the death of two women. Jimmy knew the very time that Lollie had and would arrived at her home in Burnt Savannah. How? Because she had talked with him. Thus, the moment was right, as he set the stage. She would not be allowed to leave him. If only she knew the black heart of that man that she would learnt her fate and who this man truly is, the very moment she would close her eyes in death. I had warned Lollie of this back in 1990, as I talked with her at the corner of the old Negril Wharf Club. I saw a different side of Jimmy as I was walking away from Ricky in 1990. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I cannot understand why he was so upset that I walked away from Ricky. I couldn't even understand his anger against me either that I broke his heart. I never knew that `forced sex" equal love. How does one classify such a personality? Well Jimmy did it for me, when his wife began classifying me as a narcissistic psycho, a way in which to say that anything I say should not be believe. The truth is: She was describing her husband to a tee. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>West Cliffe</B></div> <div> <B> Chapter Five</B></div> <div> <B> Coming out of the Darkness :  ~39</B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>In 1990, Sista Burzella Jimmy's mother, a relative of mine, had a long talk. She would give me big hugs and cry every time she sees me. Her anger against Jimmy was also on the surface. The man who went to England abandon his two children, "not a cent he never send to the two pickney", she would say. "Not a cent, as I batter to take care of them; them dumped on me by the mother, who Jimmy would go to for sex, used her, then laugh at her, as he leave her house."</B></div> <div> <B>Jimmy returned to live in Negril, in time to cash in on his son's opportunities. It wasn't just his son's opportunities, others as well.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>********</B></div> <div> <B>It was the character assassination on my good name after I set up a message board that was competing with the negril.com that I would have some to see the vermonous side of Jimmy and his wife Gail. When all else failed after my numerous telephone calls to the Negril Treehouse asking Jimmy to have his wife stop her attacks on me, I wrote  and published the </B><B>GQ</B><B> page of my </B><B>noamies-negril.com</B><B>. This was my only way of defense. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Instead of putting a stop to his wife attacks on my name, Jimmy took up the crusade himself. Indeed I would come to realize that he was actually the one pushing the fire, the attacks against me. In the end, Jimmy threatened the have my son kidnapped. In 1999, when I called the Sav-la-mar police station to put in a complain, they told me that I have to call the Mandeville police Station. When I call the Mandeville Police station, they told me that I would have to come in myself and or have my uncle come to the police station. Otherwise, there was nothing that they could do. I later went to Jamaica and brought my son home. However, this is not to say that my son is ever safe from Jimmy Jackson wrath. The man is filled with hatred from his alleged fantasy of my rejection. Perhaps, someone can explain to me: How `Forced sex' equal love. </B></div> <div> <B>********</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>The words: Gunmen and Kidnapped</B><B> </B></div> <div> <B>I was truly baffled when my uncle and other family members contacted me back in 1999, that Jimmy had threatened to have Gunmen kidnapped and kill my son. My son was down in Jamaica going to school. What did an innocent child of mine had to do with any of this. I would never even think of something like that, and to anyone's child. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Was kidnapping and gunmen a scheme that Jimmy had concocted years ago. Was such a scheme waiting to take anyone of his victim? Was he the very person that sends the gunmen to kidnap me from my grandmother's house back in 1990? Yes, I went to the Negril Police, Inspection Wilson at the time. Inspector Wilson told me that indeed he would talk with Ricky and Jimmy, however, there wasn't much that he could do to protect me, other than that I should try to leave the country. Jimmy constantly stalked me from Negril to Sav-la-mar to even my visits to Mandeville. Upon my spotting him, he would tell m that Ricky is somewhere close watching me. I was often baffled as to why I could spot him and not Ricky. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>West Cliffe</B></div> <div> <B>Chapter Five </B></div> <div> <B>Coming out of the Darkness : ~40 </B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B> What had truly angered me, is that Jimmy Jackson is and has been willing to destroy me, solely for the purpose of his own selfishness and greed. That he is so full of resentment and hate that he would foster `his people' to built strive between his son Ricky and me, for the sole purpose of harming his son; just so that in the end, he would control Ricky's wealth. That evil conniving snake of a person who is not worthy to have been called a human being. In the end, as he did back in 1990 at Derrick's wedding, seek me out, "just to tell me, how much he loves both of us" even while sticking the knife deeper in both of us back. </B></div> <div> <B>********</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>What? Yes, I Have To Tell It</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#6666CC" FACE="Eurostile" ><B>:</B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> <B>June 27, 2005 The face of the murderer send by Ricky Jackson and Jimmy Jackson came to kill me. Actually, Ricky was present in the yard this night.  Them there's </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The Cousin Who Sold Me Out: </B></div> <div> <B>The disgraceful bitch who spent years running up my phone bill and eating me out. Read my letter to her, after I have gained my composure] My conniving cousin Mary Elaine Black insisted that Ricky wasn't one of the three. How does she know that? She had left the house, unbeknown to me and Brad, my husband, who was in the house with the 4 children that night. Where was the little slut? At happy Monday, by Ricky Jackson's place. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The criminals showed up during Happy Monday, after she Elaine left the house, left for the night, and according to her. Did Elaine know that the guys were hiding out in my grandmother's house across the street, and was in the area, even before she left the house that night, and leaving the front door open to let he killers in? </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>YES! For the next two days, pure guilt was written all over her face. What did Ricky Jackson promise her for selling me out? [She said it with her own mouth.] Land bought from Mr. Gordon up at West Cliffe II; A nice house; a car and my husband. This disgraceful little trash has taken her place amongst the ranks of evil. For 15 years, I have clothe the bitch, clothe and feed her children, took poverty out of her mouth, send her children to school, kept her beauty shop going, and this was the thank you I got from her. Months later, and from a distance I was able to identify one of the criminal to the authorities. </B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>West Cliffe</B></div> <div> <B>Chapter Five </B></div> <div> <B>Coming out of the Darkness</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#6666CC" FACE="Baskerville Old Face" ><B> :~41</B></FONT><B>  </B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>Dirty Secrets That Must Be Told</B><B>:</B><B> </B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#6666CC" FACE="Eurostile" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Today is Saturday, and the girl name Noamie knew that that she had to get home, her parent home to start the Saturday cleaning. Why her? Why it is always she; she who had to do all the dirty work for everyone else to benefit? But she was obedient to her grandmother who had asked that she goes, obediently and cleans the family dirty house.  </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>She had planned to take the two hours ride by mini-bus, as usual, and be at the house by 11AM, just so that the two-day chore would be finished early. Furthermore, she must work for her school fee. Why her. The others didn't have to. But she was obedient to her grandmother and her grandmother had asked that she come home, even on weekends when she must study, she still come.  Getting off the two buses was easy; however, it was the long three miles trek in the hot sun was the killer. No easy task. There are no cool shady tree along the way either, as they had long since been cut down to make way for electric light, recently put into place, that every one in the little village was finally happy to have. "Moon pon tick finally arrived a country" so them happy and no one complain. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>This day would be different even though the girl didn't know it as she got off the mini-bus and started to walk up the lane road. Suddenly a car pulled up, and beckoned her to come over. She did hoping that it would have been a ride to the house, and out of the hot sun. This man had his eyes on her, and she knew it. But the girl was very trusting. This was a privilege_ ride. The girl wonder just how she could have save this bus-ride fare, had she see the man in town, seeing he was driving right behind the bus. Wishful thinking. Saving 60 cents back them, was a lot of money. That was lunch money for two days, to say the least. I wouldn't have to fight with my mother for any lunch money. She was ungrateful, as even after, I have gone home and clean the big house all by myself, I was the only one of the children that have to turn around have  to beg  for my school lunch money.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Oh well, next time. Now, she was happy to be getting a ride home, something that suddenly hold no meaning, no faithful-ness after all.</B></div> <div> <B> Her parent wasn't expecting her for sure, so who cares. Suddenly she didn't care anymore either. She will get there when she can, do what she can and would then promised to return the next week-end as usual. Her parents were never too happy to see her and so, why should she care anymore either. She can always go to her grandfather for her school fee. This she had planned to do this weekend anyway. She was getting tired of her mother's mouth and for reasons she had begin to imagine, find the lifestyle at home a disgusting one. </B></div> <div> <B>She never arrived that Saturday. Fate took its own turn.</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>West Cliffe</B></div> <div> <B>Chapter Five </B></div> <div> <B>Coming out of the Darkness : ~42 </B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>The Years Women Should Fear - 29, 29 and 39:</B><B> </B></div> <div> <B>At a glance, all seems well. The sun still shine just as beautiful as all the days in and around Negril. The cool ocean breeze still blows softly over the land. The river still dances to the sea. The birds still sings their songs. The people go about there daily lives. All except the one with the cold heart. The one so filled with pain, hurt, and a sense to be revengeful. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The one filled with a sense that he has been rejected. He tells himself that it will never happen again, that it will never happen to him again. He tells himself this in 1990 that May morning. He tells himself this over and over. He tells himself enough times to make it real, not only in his heart, but also in his action. Like iron hot from the coal of fire his demon rages. He may have invented the word `anger'. He may have invented the word, `pain'. He may have invented the word, `revenge'. He may have invented the `obsession'. He had taken on the dark side of madness, as there are no words to compare his demons that rage within. Perhaps psychologist had yet to invent a word for his insanity. The word in a scramble format:</B><B>apso or opar</B><B> has its own meaning. He strikes in May; that month of may, the day he knew there wouldn't be 'no little darling for the cradle. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Sweet, cunning, and deceitful he lay wait to catch his victims. They must all look like one woman. The must all carry the same sweet smile, the same sense of worldliness, adventurous, strong, ambitious, educated, but most of all a woman that resembles his sole obsession. He tells himself that fate had been cruel to him. That things should never have gone the way they did. He had things all planned out and plotted out for many years before, and as far back as 1979. He tells himself that his plan should have worked. After all, he had worked very hard at it. How did things happen to go so wrong? How did things happen to take a different road? It should never have happen that way. It will never happen again. He had to become the master of the fate he had ordained. That he will never be abandon again, by anyone, as his mother once did, and as his </B><B>sole-mate</B><B> did to him. The pain has become too much for him to bear; his darkness has overcome him and to the point of no return. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>No Little Darling for the Cradle:</B><B> </B></div> <div> <B>He keeps asking himself, "what could he have done, so wrong that in the end there was darling for the cradle". He believed her. She knew what he already knew would in the end, comes to pass. His own ego and boastfulness had caused him a dear loss. Pride and self had placed him in a position wherein the last laugh wasn't his to savor. He tells himself that suddenly all that he had worked for, and planned to attain, had slip through his fingers like water on a scale, as if ever it runs. He would come to realize that he should never have anger the passed ones. That, they are indeed powerful in their own way. Something that he himself cannot alter. A master is a master no matter what. Thus, he sets out to become a master of his own, in his own doing, of creating a fate within a fate. He would seek his own form of revenge. Bound in love, spirit, heart and soul forever. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>West Cliffe</B></div> <div> <B>Chapter Five</B></div> <div> <B>Coming out of the Darkness : ~43 </B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>A good detective do not have to look very far to find two people, two actually three people as Jimmy Jackson and his wife, so filled with hate, so filled with envy, selfishness and jealousy, that they would go to any length to get even with each other, and to the point of creating 'sweet death' and all under an umbrella of disguise. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B> [Because] of my experience with both these two people, I am able to write this truth.  Perhaps, I should point out that I was trained in intelligence, while in the United States Army, and that my eight years of experience would come to serve me well and aid me with the tools and life skills in protecting myself back in 1990. It was my basic instinct of survival, that would save my life from the clutch of death and the wicked evil plots of not just Ricky Jackson but also from his father: Jimmy Jackson.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>It is time for me to stop living in the shadow of fear. I have a right to be free; to not have been raped, and abuse and forced to keep my mouth shut. The truth is; I am glad that the United States Government sees these abuses as serious threats. I am glad that I wasn't alone. </B></div> <div> <B>~ I See: All the Flower's Went to the Graveyard; There Was None For My Wedding~</B><B>  </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>********</B></div> <div> <B><IMG SRC="0fc3ced0.jpg" border=0 width="316" height="237" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>When God created Eden; He was in ~Negril~</B></div> <div> <B>Here's My Little Version: After Adam and Eve were driven from the garden, God moves The Garden of Paradise. How?  He took the garden in the form of a meteor and places it far, far away across the ocean. Thus Negril was transformed as the New Eden. God and his angels stopped for water and 'a breath of fresh air' as they looked over at West Cliffe and the beautiful sight from the hills of Injun Head...</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>" As i sat looking out at the clean blue-turquoise water, i felt that there was nothing else in the world but me and getting caught -up between heaven and earth and the Magical spells of Negril! </B></div> <div> <B>I was in Paradise and didn't want to leave...." ~Noamie</B><B>~</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><IMG SRC="0f9785a0.jpg" border=0 width="120" height="90" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div>              Chapter 5               Chapter <A HREF="id26.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Chapter 6 The W oman Called My Mother"><U>6</U></A>                         Chapter <A HREF="id27.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Chapter 7 Life is not always what its ad"><U>7 </U></A>                     Chapter <A HREF="id35.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Chapter 8 My Fathers Bride_ The Unfaithf"><U>8</U></A></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <TABLE BORDER="2" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="688" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=CENTER BGCOLOR=#000000 HEIGHT= 57 WIDTH="678"><div> <I><B>This site and its pages are Copyright 1998-2008. Noamie's Negril- Jamaican Tea Room. All Rights Reserved. Web site Designed by: Noamie</B></I></div> <bR> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>